Jonathan's background

What do we mean by a Civil Ceremony?

A good funeral may seem like a contradiction in terms, but you are likely to have attended both good and bad funerals and understand what is meant by such a tautology. . There is such a thing as a good funeral and it should be as unique as the person who lived the life you are celebrating. A Civil Funeral allows far greater flexibility to celebrate that life, by placing none of the  restrictions on you that a more traditional ceremony may require. 

In fact, there is no requirement to have a funeral when someone dies. However, every culture and creed has held  a ceremony to mark someone's passing since the earliest times. In essence, they have no practical value, but they say a lot about how we value the living, and perhaps why famous or important people often have very lavish funerals, while a criminal might have none at all.

Some people regard funerals as pointless. When Arthur Miller, the playwright, was asked if he would be going to the funeral of his ex-wife Marilyn Monroe, he replied "Why should I? She won't be there." However for most people,  it's not the body that is important, but the person whom it embodied and vitality of the life that animated it. Increasingly people are looking to mark or celebrate that life in a myriad of different ways. 

A Civil Ceremony gives you the widest possible opportunity to celebrate in a way that either you or your loved ones feel is most appropriate. You could dress in a style that is appropriate to that person, no black  - instead pink or red maybe? Each attendee can bring something that links you to the person, a gift, a card or photograph perhaps? You can include readings and songs that they loved and even video too. 

For most people a funeral will be something deeply upsetting and full of grief. Some may even find it frightening or morbid. How you feel, will depend on a number of factors, such as your relationship to the person who died, the circumstances of their death, how old they were, and your expectations of the event. A Civil Celebrant will not only understand that, but also assist you to find the right way for you to mark the passing of someone special. A qualified celebrant will spend time talking to you and other relatives. They will ensure they are as familiar with your loved one as possible and tell their story accurately, with compassion and feeling. 

The aftermath of someone's death isn't always the best time to be logical. You may need to let your emotions catch up with what has happened. However it is very likely that you will want to have a way of saying goodbye officially.  You may see it as a gift to the person who has died, as a time to express sorrow or allow others to comfort each other. You may want to say thank you to that person and take stock of what they meant to you and others, and more importantly what they will go on meaning.

For whatever reason you wish to hold a funeral, a Civil Ceremony will allow the width and breadth of those feelings to be recognised. It gives you the freedom to mark their passing in a way which means the most to those present, and includes the wishes of the person they have come to say farewell to.